...H2O, fa la lala; H20 fa la lala...

To be honest with you, I absolutely love the water from the bathroom sink.  To me it is more refreshing and I love chugging a glass down.  I very rarely ever drink water from the kitchen for that matter.  Doesn’t all of the water in my house come from the same spot/well/city line/etc… ??  Does the water go though a filter first in the bathroom and then travels out to the kitchen??  I just don’t know.  You see, it is not even just in my current home.  In every place I have ever lived back to my mom’s house, I have had this weird observation.  I have been thinking about doing one of those “blind taste tests” that you have seen done by Pepsi vs Coke  or  Coors Light vs Miller Lite…

...Soda vs Soda, Brother vs Brother...

So, I have compiled a couple of different ways to see if it is just me or I have a valid point.

1. Blind Taste Test – line up my friends and family for a blind A vs B taste test.  What glass of water do you prefer??  Which seems more refreshing??

2. Test the Water Contents – does one have more fluoride or iron or something else because of location??  Are the results the same in other people’s homes??  Is water from one room colder/warmer than the other??

3. The House Itself – Are there different pipes that flow from the water source to the bathroom/kitchen?? Is there filter systems in place for one or the other.

4. Survey – Ask the question to a wide group of people.  Make sure I cover all regions of the US and possibly Europe and other Countries.  What about Australia, the water goes down the drain the opposite direction than here so maybe I like kitchen water better there than I do here at home.  Compile all of the results/data and chart/graph the information to deduce an answer.

Well, I plan on getting the answer to my question before the end of this year.  I will try to complete at least 2 out of the 3 tests OR any other suggestions that you may have would definitely be taken into consideration.  I have tried to research this on the web, but there is no concrete answer, only speculation and opinion of which one tastes better.  Try it out for yourself, I am sure you will notice a difference… just try not to drink the toilet water.  That’s not in the equation.  Feel free to let me know where you like the water from better in your own home.

...Cheers to you mister bathroom water drinker...

Remember – Don’t bring cotton candy into the shower.

Cheers

Juice

ps… maybe I should take into consideration a nice drink of water from the garden hose??

All's fair in love and war...

In no particular order:

1. Kill them with kindness ~ Friends, this is the hardest thing to do.  No matter what else happens, you have to “eat some crow” and just still be nice.  She is going to bash your “rep”.  She is going to say nasty things that you know are not true.  She is going to give everyone “her side” of the story and that’s it.  DO NOT reciprocate.  Be the bigger person.  She is hurt or betrayed or something… I know for the sake of my daughter and my situation, that I will never have to answer a question like “why did you call mommy a _______…” or “why do you hate mommy so much”??  You do not want to have to answer a question like this from your child.

2.  Stop trying to explain yourself to others ~  Listen here, the people who are your friends, who know you and the truth, don’t need to be bothered and constantly badgered with “he said, she said” babble.  It is hard in the beginning, I know, I would do just that but, as time progresses, people start to see the truth and oh yeah’s start to pop in their

brains and they realize that you are not the cruel and horrible person you are being made out to be.

3.  DO NOT try to make people pick sides ~ This was also hard for me. All of her friends came about because of me and my circles.  It just seemed natural that they should stop being her friend and go back to the way we were.  Your friends will be there when you need them. If they’re not, were they really a friend??  It took me some time to realize that it is not about You or Her… I is about your child.   Plain and Simple.  It is about the child and not whose friend is whose.  That leads me to tip number 4…

What Team do you choose.... LOL

4.  IT IS ABOUT YOUR CHILD ~ Nobody else matters now.  I don’t care about who says what or what she does to get at me, as long as my daughter is taken care of and I get my time.  Cherish every opportunity you have to spend time with your son or daughter.  My daughter is almost 11 months old now and the time is flying by.  She is almost walking and talking… I cannot wait to see that glow in her face and that sparkle in her eye when she wakes up on her first christmas morning.

Daddy's little girl...

5.  Never, EVER say something negative about your Ex to your child ~ This is just the lowest and biggest scumbag thing you can do.  Your child is going to remember that you said something bad about her mom.  You are bashing your kid’s mother.  Don’t do it.  Even when I heard my ex doing just that, I knew not to do the same.

6.  Live your life ~ Just because you have a kid and are a “single parent” does not mean you cannot live your life.  Yes, changes will have to be made and you can’t just do whatever anymore but, it is still your life and you have to be happy in order to convey that happiness to your child.

7.  Be Patient ~ I figure that it is going to be at least 2 years before my daughter’s mother does not have any animosity towards me.  So if I want extra time or an extra day I am at the mercy of her moods.  But being patient, does not mean sitting around on your butt waiting for things to change.  Be proactive in being a positive thing in your child’s life.

Just be patient...

So that’s about it for now.  Hope that these tips can help you through your own personal struggles with “baby momma drama”… They may even help you out with just dealing with an ex…

Remember: The worst gift to give for the holidays is a fruitcake…

Cheers,

Juice

Ps. I would not be able to spread these tips on to you if it were not for the help and support of my girlfriend.  She is really good at giving me that woman’s perspective on my situation and sometimes just pointing out some common sense.  I know it’s not easy on her and I commend her for her patience and perseverance throughout this ordeal.  Thank you Alzy!!

You're Better Off Hiding Your Money Under Your Mattress

As usual, I am prompted to input my information and then have to listen to the recording, and there’s NO WAY AROUND IT.  I have to listen to everything before I am allowed to or should I say before the automated system registers my numerous button pushings of the zero on my phone key pad.  Finally, I get a live person, Raphael, who is “concerned with my satisfaction…”  I proceed to tell him my issue and is there a way around it.  Of course not, but he continues to tell me about how he is concerned with my overall satisfaction.  I told this smuck that I was definitely going to cancel my account with Bank of America that I have had opened forever.  He said there was nothing to do BUT that he hoped that I was “satisfied with the level of service provided today”.  NO, Raphael.  You are losing a customer to another banking institution and you did not help me out in any way what so ever… GO KICK ROCKS!!!

Definite Customer Service Issues...

Customer service today is nothing like it used to be.  Now I am not a hundred years old, only 30, and I have seen the changes in customer service.  Whatever happened to the customer is always right.  Even the other day, I was ordering a sandwich and the menu board said that any wrap can also be made as a sandwich on a croissant, bagel, plank bread, etc… SO I asked for my wrap on a bagel.  The girl flat out told me NO. Can’t do it….  I chuckled and proceeded to order something else…

Hmmm Hmmm Good...

From counter people to sales associates, it just seems that nobody understands the value of just being nice to someone.  What is wrong with a little empathy towards my problem or issue.  Why can’t you just attempt to try and find a solution, act like you care and want to help me out.  Hey, you may still keep me as a customer because you were sincere in trying to find a solution.  I can guarantee  you that if you go to a privately owned boutique or small owner ran pub/restaurant and there is a problem, they will do what they can to rectify your problem.  They are not just getting paid $7.86 an hour to answer the phone and feed you a pre-written response.

Empathy... Empathy... Empathy...

Listen up, if someone comes to you with a problem and it is your job to try to make things right, do so and with the attitude that you honestly do care.

Remember: never throw a brick straight up…

Cheers,

Juice

Doritos are the first tortilla chips to be launched nationally.

Dortios are a college kids greatest, late night ally in finishing that dissertation.

Doritos   Doritos   Doritos

This guy truly LOVES his Doritos

So, I am enjoying a wonderful weekend and I get this little craving for some chips.  I run off to the Wawa and I see these new Doritos Collisions “Cheesy Enchilada, Sour Cream”…

Let's Get Ready to Rumble...

So far I haven’t had any luck with all the new flavor creations and experiments with Doritos.  Mind you, I am a HUGE fan of these extraordinary, msg sprinkled chips and I wish that they would just bring back the old school Monterey Jack Cheese flavor (I even had a grab bag of Nacho Cheese for breakfast, on the way to work this morning).  I decided that I would give them a try…

To start, the flavors were ok.  Nothing great, like jump out of the bag by themselves flavor.  One chip was darker and had the mexican enchilada flavor, the other chip was white-like and tasted like a super sour cream (my girlfriend said they tasted like Cool Ranch, eh…maybe).  It was kind of boring jumping back and forth from flavor to flavor.  I tried them together and holy wow. Both flavors, at the same time is what you are looking for.   But here in lies my HUGE complaint.  In order to fully enjoy and experience the “collision” you have to put 2 Doritos chips in your mouth.  Now I have a big mouth (so I’ve been told once or twice) and I don’t know about you but, 2 of the chips into your mouth equals PAIN.  Seriously, it is such an inconvenience to shove 2 of the triangle waffers of corn goodness into your mouth and then try to bite down without your cheeks or the roof of your mouth getting all torn up.  I know that  you all know exactly what I am talking about but, just in case:  Click Here

Big Chips + Small Mouth = Pain

No human should have to suffer eating 2 or more Doritos chips at the same time. Period. End of story.  Get your act together Frito Lay and work out these little details that cause so much discomfort to your loyal customers.   The flavor combination of the Cheesy Enchilada, Sour Cream is fantastic BUT we consumers cannot fully enjoy this without putting our mouths in harms way (LoL).  Until this happens, I will just stick with the single flavor bags…or keep searching for the elusive flavored Munchos like BBQ or Salt N Vinegar…

My junk food rant for the day.  Thanks for listening.

Remember: Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral or fattening.

Cheers,

Justin

As you can see, I pay attention to all the details and spare no expense at possibly having the best costume around.  This year, I find myself stumped, stuck.  I cannot think of ANYTHING… And it should be even easier to come up with an idea.  The party I am going to be at this year is themed, Insane Asylum/Crazy, Scary Mental Institution and I have to dress up according to the theme (as I am the host of the party)… So the leg work SHOULD be already done, right??  I have the starting point and it should be easy to come up with something, correct??  Wrong.  I find myself in the dark even more than starting from scratch for something unique and original to set myself apart from everyone else.  With Halloween only 2 days away, any suggestions??

Remember: Look both ways before crossing the street, even one way roads.

Cheers,

Juice

FOOL an awesome read by Christopher Moore

The basic premise of Fool is the story of King Lear but through the eyes of Pocket, the fool/the court jester.   Any book that begins with a warning is a good book for me:

WARNING: This is a bawdy tale. Herein you will find gratuitous shagging, murder, spanking, maiming, treason, and heretofore unexplored heights of vulgarity and profanity, as well as non-traditional grammar, spit infinitives, and the odd wank. If that sort of thing bothers you, then gentle reader pass by, for we only endeavor to entertain, not to offend. That said, if that’s the sort of thing you think you might enjoy, then you have happened onto the perfect story!

Some “official reviews” of the novel are:

“…As the king of dramatists, Shakespeare has long invited every form of pastiche, parody and general lèse-majesté. But to turn the darkly depressing “King Lear” into a comedy requires more than ordinary chutzpah. Yet who better to give it a try than Christopher Moore…” (The Washington Post)

“Funny, literate, smart and sexy, all at once!” (Jeff Lindsay, author of the Dexter series)

“Moore turns things on their head with an edgy 21st-century perspective that makes the story line as sharp, surly and slick as a game of Grand Theft Auto. It’s a manic, masterly mix-winning, wild and something today’s groundlings will applaud.” (Publishers Weekly)

These probably don’t mean anything to you.  So this is my take on the book and author.

Christopher Moore has a style of writing that is easy to read and comprehend (even in an archaic-type language).  His use of imagery really helps to develop the story in your mind and help all of us, in this day and age, to brush the rust off of our imaginations.  It was an easy read and able to be completed  in a few short sittings.  Hey, it’s Shakespeare and was funny and sarcastic.  I am a closet “bathroom reader” using this “personal time” to relax and not rush anything.  I find myself buried in magazines and cell phone games and sometimes a good book.  Mixed with afternoons juggled around my daughter and her constant need of attention, I could not put this book down.

I know that Mr. Moore’s book has been performed on stage but with recent remakes of Romeo & Juliet, Macbeth, Hamlet, etc… The Bard would be done a disservice if someone does not bring this story to the big screen. Fool is definitely a good beach day read or sitting out on the veranda with a hot drink of choice and catching up on the adventures.  I will most definitely be visiting my local big box book store to pick up the other titles Christopher Moore has written.

Go out, support the author, buy this novel and read it.

Remember: Don’t eat yellow snow.

Cheers,
Juice

PS. Every time something is spoken in french by Pocket, in the story, he proceeds to let the reader know [with expletives] that it was pronounced “… in perfect f###ing french“.  Hence where the title of my blog came from. That’s it.